Why The White Lotus Season 4 Should Be Set at a Ski Resort
The hit series White Lotus has long been obsessed with the decadent absurdity of the resort class—flowing kaftans, fire-dancers, and tropical drinks with orchids stuck on top. But as Season 3 wraps in Thailand and the contents of those ominous body bags are revealed, I have one plea for creator Mike White: take the next installment of your 1% whodunnit to the mountains—Aspen, Gstaad, Courchevel. Anywhere with snow, money, and secrets.
Here’s why the mountains are begging for a murder mystery with a side of après:
1. Skiing Is for the Old-School Rich
Forget crypto bros. Skiing is the winter playground of the old-school elite. Think Princess Diana beaming on a Swiss chairlift flanked by the two young princes. Or Gwyneth Paltrow sobbing in a turtleneck in court after plowing into an optometrist at Deer Valley. The antics of the ultra-wealthy at altitude are equal parts tragic and ridiculous. Yes, the culture’s shifting to become more inclusive, but skiing—and the multi-billion dollar industry surrounding it—still runs on class signifiers. It’s golf in a Moncler jacket.
2. The Outfits Deserve Their Own Screen Time
Ski fashion is a visual goldmine. A meme-generator's dream. Picture Jennifer Coolidge in a too-tight Gucci onesie, fur trapper hat, white zinc smeared across her lips like war paint, and sunglasses the size of windshields. Or Parker Posey in stretch pants and a cashmere headband, washing down lorazepam with a hot toddy after a single green run in a grotesquely oversized lodge. Belinda refuses to ski and wanders around the village in a North Face puffy, while her athletic Patagonia-clad son tries to work out how to use an avalanche beacon so he can impress a pretty (and badass) local girl. Then there are the Insta-hot couples in matching Montec, boasting in the bar about their double-black conquests after death-wedging down a blue.
3. Locals vs. Tourists Is a Powder Keg
As mountain towns get more exclusive and seasonal workers get priced out, the tension between “locals” and bougie tourists is real—and explosive. Add hot-tub hookups, side-country gates warning of death, stressed-out resort corporate executives looking to cut costs, and an underpaid ski instructor who knows all the secrets? Murder practically writes itself.
4. Mountains Are Prettier Than Beaches
No offense to Phuket, but IMHO snow-dusted peaks, alpenglow, and taxidermy-stuffed lodges have cinematic superiority. Throw in a blizzard, an avalanche scare, or a gondola that stops inexplicably—and suddenly you’ve got horror, beauty, and existential dread in one wide shot.
5. The Après Is Already Camp
There’s something inherently absurd about sipping overpriced champagne in head-to-toe Gore-Tex. The mix of extreme athleticism, extreme luxury, and extreme hedonism rivals the toxicity of season 3’s wellness unhinged. I’m talking aching knees powered by cortisol injections, $40 cheeseburgers, hot patrollers pulling sleds, and a coked-up banker clad in Arc'teryx insisting the hot cocoa "tastes off."
6. The Industry Could Use the Spotlight
And finally, the industry could use a little sparkle. The pandemic boom is over. Vacationers are looking elsewhere. But spotlighting the masochistic luxury of a ski holiday could give the whole experience a fresh boost. From local hills to heli-skiing billionaires, everyone stands to gain.
So please, Mike White—give us White Lotus: The Après Edition. There’s murder in our mountains. And it’s wearing vintage Bogner.